Bring a Better, More-Improved You to the Gathering
#MindfulMonday – How can you bring a better you to the family gathering?
This week will be filled with family gatherings in the US, some of which are anticipated with love and joy, others – not so much, they may be filled with anticipation of arguments, put downs, and frustration. If you are in the joyless anticipation mode, this might help.
Bring a better, more-improved you to the gathering.
You can start by creating a mindset that you will attend with the approach of not bringing any of your own or getting caught up in anyone’s negativity, and instead pause to get yourself centered and be as present in-the-moment that you can. “How do I do this?” you ask, it is really pretty simple and here are a few suggestions that might work well for you.
Getting centered – bring your attention to your heart, take in a breath, hold for a few seconds, and release. Next as you continue your focus on your heart, taken in a breath that is just a little deeper – filling up your lungs, hold for a few seconds and release. Do that one more time. This simple process will help you get into a “neutral focus” – out of your head (where all the stress and negativity happen) and into your heart. It takes only a few seconds and can be done anytime, anywhere. Especially when there’s a lot of negativity going on around you, pause and do a Heart Breath moment – it’s good in traffic too!
Being present – is really about being in the moment where you are at that time – not wandering around in memories that don’t serve you or anyone around you well. You can really observe everyone around you and how you are being there, in-the-moment with them. Allow yourself to stay in a state of presence as long as you can. Then try it again.
Someone may try to pull you into events of the past,that is okay as long as the events are not negative or unpleasant. If the past memory is unpleasant, just tell the person that it is not a memory you want to focus on right now, that you would rather focus on memories that are pleasant and fun and provide one for you to talk about. Do your best when discussing past memories to keep them pleasant and non-hurtful about anyone.
This approach might be a bit challenging since sometimes the holiday conversations can bring up hurtful past memories – if that’s the case, read last week’s blog about Surviving Holiday Conversations.
Another idea is to look around yourself for one or two things for which you can be joyful or grateful – keep those pleasant thoughts on your mind as you navigate your weekend with your family and friends.
I’ll leave you with a favorite affirmation of mine that comes from my friend and fellow author, Lauren McLaughlin: “I AM who I AM and I allow others to be who they are.” Remembering that phrase will get you through a lot of challenging times – combine it with some Heart Focused Breathing and you will have a more pleasant experience.
Wishing all of you who celebrate Thanksgiving a joyful time and for those not celebrating this weekend – do something fun!
Love and Joy,
Margaret
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Margaret Martin ©2018